Parenting

Being a parent is one of the most important, yet most challenging things we will do in this life. I love this quote by President S. Monson,

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them."

-President Thomas S. Monson

Unfortunately, when we become parents there is no handbook full of rules or even guidelines to tell us how to parent. There are so many different ways to parent your children, and there isn’t necessarily a “right” way. There are several “good” or “okay” ways, however there are also “better” ways.

There are 4 main parenting styles. Permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and uninvolved/neglect. Permissive parenting is where rules aren’t often enforced, children tend to get away with a lot of things, and don’t ever really receive consequences from their parents. Authoritarian is the complete opposite, where parents are very strict and unwilling to accommodate rules and boundaries. They have very strict consequences and those parents tend to think “it’s my way or the highway” kind of thing. Authoritative is balance of the two. It includes strict rules and consequences, however the parents are willing to adjust and adapt. And uninvolved pretty much explains itself. The parents don’t tend to know what is going on in their child’s life, and often times the child is neglected in an area or two.

Obviously, neglect or uninvolvement is never a good way to parent, but none of the other three are necessarily a terrible parenting style. Authoritative however is the better of the three. Children raised in authoritative households tend to be happier, more capable, and very successful. However the best parenting style can be different for every child. We as parents need to find what works best in our own homes with each of our children.

We read an article for our class, about the “collapse of parenting and why parents need to grow up” and it talked a lot about how in our world today, children tend to have much more control over the parents than parents do over the children. Dr. Leonard Sax explains that kids aren’t born knowing right from wrong, and since we have a responsibility to teach them those things, we can’t let them be in the lead. We need to “put parent’s back in the driver’s seat”.

Parents have a responsibility to rear our children in love, and to teach them good values and how to make good choices. We want them to be successful. If we let them be in the lead, where are they going to learn the things we want them too? However, looking on the other side of things, if we are too strict, and punish them or limit them from everything, then how will they ever learn the consequences of their own choices and actions? We need to find the balance by having strict rules but allowing those rules to be changes, and adjusted according to what the kids need. When we do this we allow them to learn what we would have them learn but learn from their own experiences as well.

Parenting is an important job that should not be taken lightly. We will be held accountable for the way we raised our children and what we taught them, so we need to do all we can to make sure they are raised right and in the best way possible, with love.