Saturday, November 4, 2017

Intimacy in Marriage

Intimacy between husband and wife can be a very sacred thing. However, intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean being sexual. There are so many ways we can be intimate with our spouses without it having to lead anywhere, and this is important because sex isn’t all that a marriage is about. After all, intimate = “into my mate” J
This week we made lists of challenges and opportunities that intimacy presents for a couple. There are some big challenges that can happen, especially when there is miscommunication between couples. When you are married, it is very important to communicate your needs with your spouse, because if you don’t it can lead to expectations that may not be met.  
Often what can happen, is one person expects any romantic gesture to lead to sex, and the other person may not realize it. This then leads to conflict between the couple, and miscommunicated feelings such as feeling like your husband/wife does not love you as much as you would like them to, or you may not get the reassurance you need.
Going back to intimacy without sex, there are many ways that a couple can be intimate, and not only in the bedroom. Simple things just ass cuddling at night before bed, and holding hands, going to do something that you both enjoy together, or many other things. Irwin M. Fletcher gave some great steps that we can follow to teach us how to be intimate without sex:
1.       Get rid of the pressure: make sure you are both on the same page.
2.       Ask each other what you are looking for when it comes to intimacy.
3.       Find another physical way to show one another that you love each other.
4.       Create intimate moments (such as those listed above).
5.       Don’t expect anything in return (as mentioned before, cutting out the expectations).
Being intimate with your spouse without having sex can bring lots of opportunities and benefits to the marriage. It can bring you closer to one another, and help you get to know each other on a deeper level. You can get positive, verbal affirmations and reassurances of love, and altogether it creates unification between you and your spouse.
               
Resources:
Irwin M. Fletcher, How to Have Intimacy Without Sex

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