Today’s world of dating is
completely different than it used to be. Today, instead of going on actual
dates, the norm is to “hang out”. Dating and hanging out are two completely
different things, but the youth and young adults of today’s world have gotten
them completely mixed up, to the point where to them they mean the same thing.
A date
has 3 main elements. They are: planned, paid for, and paired off. Hanging out, doesn’t
consist of any of these. When looking for the right person to marry, it is so
important that we go on real dates for many reasons. When a date is planned,
paid for, and paired off, especially for women, we can get a great idea of how
a guy will be as a husband one day. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World,
men are given 3 main tasks as a husband: to preside, provide, and protect. When
you really think about it, all 3 of these tie in very well to the elements of a
date.
Preside = Planning Provide
= Paid for Protect
= Paired off
When the man plans the date he is presiding over it, when he
pays he his providing, and when it is paired off, he is responsible for the
girl for the whole evening, so he has to protect her. However a woman has a
part in this too. A wife’s main role is to nurture, and we can do this on a
date as well. I think that by just enjoying yourself on the date and making
sure your date enjoys himself as well, and that he knows you are having a good
time, you are doing your part as a nurturer. You can also nurture by truly
listening to what he has to say and supporting him. However, I personally think
that it is okay to have the girl, plan, prepare and pay for the date every once
in a while too. I understand how stressful it can be for guys to do all the
work, and I think switching roes every now and then can take the pressure off,
and let them know that we do truly want to go on the date with them, which is
something a lot of guys fear most.
Pairing
off on a date is extremely important when you are searching for a spouse,
because when you are just in a group “hanging out” then you don’t get to know
people as closely as you do when you are alone with them. Big groups can also
cause problems because often times you aren’t necessarily paired up with
someone, and that can just make things confusing in the dating world. Small
group dates can be good too however, as long as you have a specific date, that
you are putting an effort into getting to know.
Growing
up I went to a high school where real dating didn’t exist. My friends and I
were so excited to turn 16 just to find out that people didn’t really go on
planned dates anymore. At one point there was a kid I “dated” and not once did
he take me out on an actual planned, paid for, date. Needless to say that didn’t
last long. However, when I met my husband we went on dates all the time. Though
I am sure we still “hung out” more than we should have, we did go on plenty of
dates that gave us the chance to really get to know each other, and see the
qualities in each other that we were looking for. I think this is one of the
reasons I married him, was because of our real dates we got to spend a lot of
quality time with each other that wasn’t just sitting around watching movies.
We also
were able to find cheap dates that cost us almost nothing. I know this is
something that a lot of people use as an excuse to not go on dates. They don’t
have to be these extreme, elegant, events. Some of our favorite things to do
while we were dating was to go on walks, or play Frisbee gold, or go play at
the tennis courts, or anything that really cost us nothing. It is possible to
have fun dates that are cheap.
I
encourage all those who are looking for “the one” to get out there and go on
actual dates. Stop with the “hanging out” because its getting you nowhere. If you really want to get to know someone, and even get a glimpse
into how they will act as a spouse, then GO ON A REAL DATE!
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